We are excited to introduce the new Sisense Spewbot™ – a custom made robot that creates a new, unstoppable, way to track personal performance insights. Our Sisense robot, the SpewBot™, tracks your what time you arrive at work, how long your average lunch break is, the time you spend in the bathroom, and even how often you break for a coffee.

The Spewbot™ not only collects your data in real-time, and without dependency on Joe from IT or Laura from HR, but without advance permission rights, it will even conveniently announce insights about your lifestyle without your knowledge or even your consent. Perfect for making data across your network as transparent as possible.

By spewing out real facts with supporting data about your lifestyle, the Spewbot™ enables everyday users to easily share any personal detail with your friends, family and colleagues.

Some Testimonials:

testimonial “I came into work today and apologized for being late on account of the traffic. Without me even having to ask, the Spewbot™ immediately crunched the numbers and told my boss that there was no traffic this morning! So data driven!”

– John Romero, Recently Unemployed

testimonials “When I tally up my working hours, the Spewbot™ makes sure there are no errors in the data by clearly separating hours I was at lunch, talking at the coffee station, or even playing on Facebook to ensure there was no overlap. Now, my company only pays me for the exact hours I work – an insight they just accurately couldn’t reach before.”

– Cheryl O’Mara, Unpaid & Overworked

testimonial “I often worried that my employees were spending a bit too much time chatting around the water cooler or watching cute animal videos on YouTube. With Spewbot™, I no longer have to worry because I know I’ll get to the truth behind each of my employees’ procrastination techniques — whether they like it or not!”

– Rob Phillip, Product Manager, Always Watching

April Fools! But seriously, our Sisense Bots are so brilliant it’s almost a joke. Take a look.